When Charm Fades: Early Warning Signs, Behavioural Red Flags, and Protective Leadership Practices in Complex Delivery Environments.
- Sarah Verity
- Apr 7
- 5 min read
In complex programs and significant-impact delivery environments, success depends on clarity, capability, and trust. Most teams are built on these foundations — but occasionally, a single individual can destabilise the entire ecosystem. They often arrive with confidence, charm, and the appearance of competence. They speak well, build rapport quickly, and present themselves as the ideal colleague or leader.
And then, slowly, the façade begins to slip.
This article explores the behavioural patterns that emerge when someone is not professionally capable of delivering what their role requires — and how leaders can identify the early warning signs, protect their teams, and maintain delivery integrity. It draws on insights from authors such as Lillian Glass (Working With Toxic People), Albert J. Bernstein (Emotional Vampires), Paul Babiak & Robert Hare (The Psychopaths in Your Office), and Thomas Erikson (Surrounded by Narcissists and Surrounded by Liars). Having read these works, I’ve found their frameworks invaluable in recognising subtle patterns long before they escalate.
The Slow Reveal: When Capability Doesn’t Match Confidence
The early signs rarely appear dramatic. They begin quietly, almost innocently:
A simple deliverable is missed.
A discreet, tangible task is left undone.
A short meeting stretches into an hour… then two.
Stakeholders leave unsure of what was decided or what happens next.
Individually, these moments seem harmless. Collectively, they signal a deeper issue: this person may not actually be capable of delivering the work they were hired to do.
As expectations rise, the behaviour often shifts. Meetings become longer and more frequent, filled with people who don’t need to be there. The purpose becomes less about progressing work and more about performing competence. They “hold court”, work to specific personality types, rather than navigate, drawing stakeholders into conversations that feel important but rarely produce outcomes.
At the same time, they begin to restrict access to “their” stakeholders — a classic gatekeeping tactic described by Erikson and Bernstein. This prevents peers or leaders from discovering that progress is not occurring. They may even cultivate loyalty by telling stakeholders exactly what they want to hear.
But charm has an expiry date.
Eventually, stakeholders expect something real: a deliverable, a plan, a decision, a tangible piece of progress. When that moment arrives, the veneer begins to crack.
Behavioural Unravelling Under Pressure
When the pressure increases, the behaviour often becomes erratic:
Passive‑aggressive comments
Terse or rude responses
Emotional volatility
Blame‑shifting
Fixation on minor issues instead of major deliverables
Diving into minutiae to appear busy or knowledgeable
This is classic deflection. When someone cannot deliver the core responsibilities of their role, they compensate by creating noise, drama, or confusion. The team begins to feel like they’re walking on eggshells. Psychological safety erodes. Delivery slows. Stakeholders become confused or frustrated.
The project — which should be moving forward — becomes stuck in a cycle of meetings, emotion, and theatre.
The Impact on Delivery, Stakeholders, and Team Culture
The consequences are real and measurable:
Delayed deliverables
Erosion of trust
Stakeholder fatigue
Team burnout
Loss of clarity and direction
Reputational risk for the project and organisation
Projects rely on rhythm, transparency, and accountability. When one person disrupts that rhythm — especially someone in a key role — the entire ecosystem feels it.
Early Warning Signs: What Leaders Should Look For
Drawing on the behavioural patterns described by Glass, Bernstein, Babiak, Hare, and Erikson, the early indicators are surprisingly consistent:
1. Over‑talking and under‑delivering: They speak well but fail to produce even small, simple outputs.
2. Meetings that get longer and less productive: Stakeholders leave unclear on decisions, actions, or next steps.
3. Gatekeeping and stakeholder “ownership”: They restrict access to key people to control the narrative.
4. Charm that feels slightly too polished: Charm becomes a tool, not a trait.
5. Deflection disguised as detail: They dive into tangents or minutiae to avoid accountability. They offer 'value -add' items to avoid staying in their 'lane'.
6. Emotional volatility under pressure: Mood swings, rudeness, defensiveness, or disproportionate reactions.
7. Stakeholders hearing what they want to hear: They promise outcomes without evidence or progress.
These signs often appear long before the real damage is visible.
Protective Leadership Practices: How to Safeguard Delivery and Your Team
Strong leadership can contain, redirect, or neutralise these behaviours before they cause harm.
1. Anchor everything in clarity: Define deliverables, timelines, ownership, and acceptance criteria. Ambiguity is the playground of the incompetent. Clarity is the antidote.
2. Reinforce governance and transparency: Governance is not bureaucracy — it is protection. Use RAID logs, decision records, action registers, and transparent reporting.
3. Keep stakeholders close: Leaders must maintain direct contact with key stakeholders to ensure alignment and accuracy.
4. Create a psychologically safe team environment: Teams must feel safe to surface concerns early. Check in regularly, validate concerns, and intervene early.
5. Address capability gaps early and directly: Be factual, specific, and supportive. Document expectations and follow up.
6. Maintain your own integrity: When dealing with an “office vampire”, narcissist, manipulator, or chronic liar, your integrity is your anchor. Stay calm, factual, ethical, and aligned with the client’s best interests.
7. Know when to escalate: Not every situation can be coached. When behaviour becomes harmful or obstructive, escalation is necessary.
Why This Matters
Early detection and strong leadership don’t just protect delivery — they protect people. They protect morale. They protect trust. They protect the culture you’re trying to build. And they ensure that one person’s behaviour does not derail an entire team's work.
Character matters. Capability matters. Leadership matters. And integrity matters most of all. A key value I hold dearly, Integrity.
In my work across various complex programs and consulting engagements, I’ve experienced firsthand how one person’s behaviour can either strengthen or (quietly) destabilise a delivery environment. The patterns described here aren’t theoretical — they show up in real projects, with real consequences for teams, stakeholders, and outcomes.
That’s why this matters. When leaders stay alert to these early signs and act with clarity, fairness, and integrity, they protect far more than timelines and deliverables. They protect the people doing the work. They protect the culture that enables high performance. And they support those who have the courage to speak up when something isn’t right.
If we want resilient teams and successful programs, this is the kind of leadership we need more of — grounded, accountable, and willing to step in early. It’s the work that ensures one person’s behaviour never derails the collective effort, and it’s where meaningful, practical thought leadership truly begins.
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Below is a quick reference checklist for leaders who want to spot early behavioural warning signs and put the right safeguards in place before delivery or team culture is affected.
It distils the patterns I’ve repeatedly seen across complex programs and consulting engagements and offers practical steps leaders can take to protect their teams, their stakeholders, and the integrity of their outcomes.
Short Checklist for Leaders: Early Warning Signs & Protective Practices
Early Warning Signs
☐ Missed small deliverables
☐ Long, unproductive meetings
☐ Stakeholders unclear on outcomes
☐ Gatekeeping or restricted access
☐ Over‑charm, over‑confidence
☐ Deflection or avoidance of accountability
☐ Emotional volatility under pressure
☐ Promises without evidence
Protective Leadership Practices
☐ Re‑establish clarity (deliverables, timelines, ownership)
☐ Strengthen governance and documentation
☐ Maintain direct stakeholder relationships
☐ Protect team psychological safety
☐ Address capability gaps early and directly
☐ Stay factual, calm, and ethical
☐ Escalate when behaviour becomes harmful
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References
Babiak, P. & Hare, R.D., 2006. Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work. New York: HarperCollins. (Note: Published under this title; often referenced in discussions as “The Psychopaths in Your Office”.)
Bernstein, A.J., 2010. Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry. 2nd ed. New York: McGraw‑Hill.
Erikson, T., 2018. Surrounded by Narcissists: Or, How to Stop Other People’s Egos Ruining Your Life. London: Vermilion.
Erikson, T., 2021. Surrounded by Liars: Dealing with Falsehoods and Distortion in Everyday Life. London: Vermilion.
Glass, L., 1997. Working with Toxic People: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job. New York: St. Martin’s Press.
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